Government are advising Man Utd to stock up on three days supply of managers.
Football › Manager Sacking Manager Sacking scotty (677) · 23-10-2026 1424I've been feeling terribly depressed lately. I thought I'd end it all with an overdose of antidepressants. But I took the first two and felt much better.
Disease/Illness Stickyagain 🥉 (2169) · 23-10-2026 0516What did the deaf,dumb and blind girl get for her birthday? She didn't know.
Disability Squeaky (2231) · 23-10-2026 0751Grandparents should ask for consent to hug their grandchildren, an Irish advert says. I'd be happy if Granddad would just put his cock away.
In The News › Breaking News Breaking News ponga (505) · 23-10-2026 1520Met police searching for suspect after man shot near Royal Artillery barracks. That's no kind of place to be discharging firearms.
Silly › Absurd Absurd theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥇 (4081) · 23-10-2026 1435I see the Duke of Sussex, Harry is earning a fortune these days. I wish I had his mental wealth problems!
Celebrities astri (9) · 23-10-2026 1418'...I was previously in the Army and the Sergeant Major said, "I want you in my office IMMEDIATELY after parade." So I went in and he said, "Now then...I didn't see you in camouflage class this morning." I said, "Thank you very much, Sir."
monkeybobhouse 🥈 (173) · 23-10-2026 1044My wife accused me of sleeping with our babysitter. Just because we don't have any children.
'...Paddy says to Mick, "I'm getting circumcised tomorrow." Mick says, "I had that done when I was a few days old." Paddy says, "Does it hurt?" Mick says, "Well I couldn't walk for about a year." (You'll get it later.)
monkeybobhouse 🥈 (173) · 23-10-2026 1134Sean Connery "I wear silk underpants, not satin"
An aeroplane is about to crash. A female passenger jumps up and frantically announced: "If I'm going to die I want to die feeling like a woman". She removes her clothing and asked: "Is there anyone on this plane man enough to make me feel like a woman?" An Irish chap stood up, removed his shirt before throwing at her saying: "Here, feckin iron this!!"
spike125 🥇 🥇 🥈 (3151) · 23-10-2026 1422I live each day like it's my last. That is to say, laying in bed doped up on drugs and occasionally shitting myself.
Alcohol/Drugs Hengist (974) · 24-10-2026 0011Tech bosses have announced that widespread anxiety about AI taking jobs from humans is completely unfounded. "In five years, you probably won't have to worry about having a job at all," they say. "Because you'll all be dead."
Work/Workplace › Redundancy Redundancy Hengist (974) · 23-10-2026 2303Due to a growing and ever-changing array of cyber-security threats, the government has advised that we should all begin stockpiling in case of a sudden internet blackout. So I've just purchased three hundred Hustlers.
In The News Hengist (974) · 23-10-2026 2205